Supernova - My pokemon fic

I've mostly given up on my non-pokemon fic and decided to start another fic, this time a pokemon-inspired one. I've posted it on Serebii and gotten only two responses, despite being eleven chapters in. Since a lot of the members here are from Serebii, I would really appreciate it if you read my fic and gave some feedback. However, even if you don't have a Serebii account, you won't be sorry if you start reading it. Here's the link to the thread:

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=534246

Supernova is about the story of how a boy named Kenny is suddenly taken away from his home in Hoenn by the underground criminal syndicate known as Team Nova. However, he is able to escape the grasp of this team and he finds himself in a completely new region. He takes this opportunity to challenge the local gyms and work his way past the challenges of the pokemon league. However, he is constantly being followed by the evil Team Nova and must frequently thwart their vile plans.

I'm using some of the ideas that we've come up with on this site in my story. Most notably, I'm using all the cities on the region map that I drew. Check the map-making section to see it if you're not familiar with it. I was sure to include a thanks to all the members of this forum who helped me come up with ideas.

I'm not going to be posting the chapters of the story here. However, I will frequently be updating the story on its thread on Serebii, so make sure you subscribe to the thread and check it for posts often. Feedback is always appreciated. I just thought it would help if I advertised on this forum, since it's a lot smaller.

Chapter twelve is done. Go check it out if you have the time.

I just read Ch. 21, I thought the little "heh" toward Nintendo's logic has hilarious.

Hydreigon9 wrote:I just read Ch. 21, I thought the little "heh" toward Nintendo's logic has hilarious.

Which one? The Gyarados flying? I think I put a few of those in that chapter...

O.O Oberon? Funny, that's the name of my Gloom in Poke'mon Sapphire...

Gelatino95 wrote:

Hydreigon9 wrote:I just read Ch. 21, I thought the little "heh" toward Nintendo's logic has hilarious.

Which one? The Gyarados flying? I think I put a few of those in that chapter...

no, the Hoothoot.

Yep. Hoothoot didn't technically use fly, but... y'know, close enough.

I saw that Pokémon Colosseum/XD camo you put in there.

Hydreigon9 wrote:I saw that Pokémon Colosseum/XD camo you put in there.

Yeah, Miror B. He'll appear from time to time, just because he's such a funny character and I couldn't possibly neglect him. He won't be much of a main character, though, since I don't want to use too many ideas from the Adventure of Adventureness.

Hey Gelo, can I be a Gym Leader? Name could be Zid (xddd) and my team could be: Absol, Bisharp, Zweilous, Scrafty, Weavile and Zoroark. Dark-type Leader, obviously. And, if you like the idea, I could give Kenny a Zorua or Deino Egg.

I could certainly include your as a gym leader, but I would need to use a better name that has to do with the Dark type, just like I did with all the other gym leaders' names so far. Rocky = rock, Venerol = venom, Litho = lithos (Latin for stone), and Ferris = ferrous. I can't guarantee that I can use all the pokemon that you want, but I can certainly include a couple that you like.

The ones I like are Absol, Zweilous and Zoroark. If you use a Water-type or a Electric-type Leader names could be Wade or Zack. I haven't created my name yet. But it could be Dylan.

I'm thinking of using a couple NGP pokemon in Supernova (definitely Toxaur, but that comes much later). I haven't decided exactly which ones I'm using and I know it'll take a while before I start including them, so just be aware.

By the way, as I started advertising in my SPPf sig, the Halloween special is coming up on October 31st, so if you haven't started reading yet, I suggest getting caught up. Be sure to give feedback on the special when it comes out (not here of course, I would much more appreciate your comments on the actual thread), as I'm expecting it to be epic.

I have to prepare myself to the CAE so i've decided to print your fic and reading it while i'm in the subway. This way i'll have time to read it and to improve my english at the same time (i've already seen some useful expressions in the first chapter!). The whole story takes about 33 pages! As it seems you have been working a lot in your fic, it's a shame people hadn't commented it the way i deserves!I would like to comment your story, but i'm not in serebii...

I'm flattered that you're using my story to learn English. I've learned a lot of good writing quality from reading other books. Using literature is a great way to learn a new language.

I've just finished reading chapter 15 and i must say i'm really enjoying the story. The way you describe battles is extremely accurate and very imaginative (i wouldn't have thought flash could be made by the eyes pkm...). And i have no problem about adressing (sometimes) the reader as he had no pkm knowledge, it helps improving the quality of the description (and, to be honest i didn't know burning halved attack ).

Anyway, in order to make you improve i would like to give constructive criticism too. First of all, as some people have said, we don't really know much from the character's personality and they don't change in any way (or perhaps they haven't changed yet).About, Eli, he's quite of a funny character, but we don't know at all whether he's just childlish,inmature or just and odd person. And about Kenny, only the episode of the bikes gives us some clues about his personality.

Well, i'd like to encourage you continuing the story (i'm looking forward to see one of our pkm there). Ah, i almost forgot; good joke about doing the professor's field work! It's a painful truth

Dimafo140 wrote:Anyway, in order to make you improve i would like to give constructive criticism too. First of all, as some people have said, we don't really know much from the character's personality and they don't change in any way (or perhaps they haven't changed yet).About, Eli, he's quite of a funny character, but we don't know at all whether he's just childlish,inmature or just and odd person. And about Kenny, only the episode of the bikes gives us some clues about his personality.

Don't worry, the character development gets better since I realized what I was doing wrong.

I've just read chapter XX and the wirting has sure, improved!

And one thing, i've seen you want a koffing from a non-english game. My game is in spanish so most of my pkm are purely spanish (no, they don't dress like bullfighters it isn't allowed here in Catalonia ). Remember, though that i only have 4th gen games!

Errr..... lol? I knew that Toreros weren't allowed now, but that was a bit strange.

ErI cannot erase this, so I modified this. Freaking bad quality Internet. But today is working well.

Just a silly joke, don't pay too much attention to that

PS;You posted twice!

If I remember correctly you asked for suggestions of our pokemon to use. How about Lepiluna? the group could get caught in a freak blizzard. Or how about the Skullink line, it would be amusing to watch the reactions of the group to possesed skeletons.

I plan to only use NGP pokemon for the Elite Four. So far, the only ones I know I'm doing are Electric and Normal, so I'm still open to other suggestions. Lepiluna might be a good idea for an ice-type E4, so I'll think about it.

Or bug type.

Actually, you're right. There was already an ice-type gym, so the E4 type will have to be bug in that case.